Our later years can bring a great deal of satisfaction from contemplation of the experiences we enjoyed personally and professionally. They can also bring thoughts of things we had hoped to do or experiences we had hoped to have but somehow never happened. In all likelihood, our “golden years” bring a mixture of both: A sense of fulfillment and contentment along with a sense that some things somehow passed us by. It is a time of reflection and for reconciling our long-held expectations and the ultimate realities of our lives. The support we have from family, friends, our faith of whatever form, along with the financial and other resources we have available to meet our needs all combine to determine the degree to which our days are peaceful and enjoyable or filled with regret, loneliness, and unfulfilled needs.
Older adulthood also brings the inevitable decrease of our vigor and health. Even for the most independent and self-sufficient among us, there may come a time when we come to depend on others to perform even the most basic tasks that we once took for granted. Dressing, bathing, preparing our meals, even basic movement may not be within our abilities. Our sense of dignity at having to depend on others will be tested time and time again.
Our family and caregivers will also face the challenges of tending to our needs while continuing to meet those of their own family and their work responsibilities. It can be a time of great satisfaction for family and caregivers from being able to care for parents who once cared for them. Simultaneously, it can be a time of great inner conflict and of feeling stretched to the limit by the demands of so many competing responsibilities.
There are a number of resources available to caregivers in the form of support groups. One is The Family Care Navigator (https://www.caregiver.org/family-care-navigator). It is hosted by The National Center on Caregiving’s Family Caregiver Alliance and provides a wide variety of links to resources for caregivers in all 50 states. It lists a wide array of organizations and tools for everything from stroke care to signing up for state Medicaid programs. The directory explains each resource and provides contact information for getting assistance.
Another resource to consider is a professional therapist who can provide assistance to the older person by helping him or her come to terms with the totality of his or her life. A therapist can also provide support to family in dealing with the many conflicting feelings around caregiving and the physical and often-times cognitive decline of their care receiver.
Mr. Reyes completed a post-graduate Fellowship in "Clinical Practice with Older Adults" at the Crown Family School of Social Work Policy and Practice of the University of Chicago in 2012.