Our childhood and teen years present a myriad of opportunities to develop many skills and abilities that shape our personalities and instill in us what will become life-long habits and ways of coping. Unfortunately, they can be also fraught with dangers of exposure to unhealthy experiences that we are as yet unable to understand and that have enormous potential to negatively affect our development into well-balanced and productive adults.
In an increasingly complex world where children have instant access to the world of the internet and social media, parenting is more challenging than ever. It is vitally important for parents to exercise vigilance over their children’s virtual world and yet balance it with a cautious respect for their developing sense of privacy. Doing so represents walking a very fine line indeed, particularly with teen-aged children.
The developmental tasks that children and teens must master are universal. According to Erik Erikson, the main developmental tasks of elementary school children (ages 6 to 11 years) revolve around the need to cope with new social and academic demands. Success leads to a sense of competence, while failure results in feelings of inferiority. For adolescents (ages 12 to 18), the main task involves developing a sense of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self.
It is often difficult for parents to tell whether the challenges their children pose, and particularly those of their teenaged children, are “normal” or warning signs of more serious issues that threaten the accomplishment of their child's developmental tasks.
As a professionally trained third party, a therapist can bring an unbiased and informed perspective that can assist the parents, as well as the child, in interpreting, understanding, and resolving whatever is taking place. This can be approached through individual work with the child along with sessions also involving his or her parents and possibly the rest of the children, if any.